Picturing You
by BrokenAngelOfTime
Summary: The war is over. Harry has to face the fact that he wants something with Draco, something more then the sex they had sixth year. But Draco has commitments to his family and the girl he is courting. Will they find a solution happy for everyone? INCOMPLETE
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello everyone! I have taken it upon myself to start a new fanfiction. However, life is starting to heat up a bit, and things are getting busy. I have roleplays and homework to attend to that usually come before fanfiction, so I apologize if this story isn't moving as fast as my others have. I'm aiming to get a chapter up a week, though, at least. This new story is a based (quite roughly, though) upon the song 'Lips of an Angel' by Hinder. It will show more in the next few chapters, though. Not so much in this prologue of sorts that mostly explains parts of the past and Harry's feelings. I'll let you read now. Please read, review and enjoy!  
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Harry stared at the wax sealed letter in front of him. He knew who it was from, but he didn't want to open it. The rejection he was sure to face was staring him straight in the face, and the Gryffindor wasn't sure if he could face it right now. It wasn't from Ginny, as many people were to expect. Rejection wasn't something to fear with her; she's thrown herself at him for years. He could have her in a heartbeat if he really wanted her.

But, he didn't. He didn't want the Weasley girl. She was too easy; he wanted a challenge, a fight, someone who could make him feel a whole range of emotions that made him feel alive. In the same sense, he wanted a person who didn't see him as the Chosen One, the Boy Who Lived or any other garbage. This person needed to see him for who he was: an imperfect, hotheaded human being.

It took the raven time to fully come to terms with what he wanted. Or, to be exact, who he wanted.

_Draco Malfoy._

This wasn't a out of the blue decision, however. Malfoy and Harry had a... fling, one could call it, back in sixth year. It was purely physical, satisfying their curiosity and serving as a stress reliever for both of their busy, heavy set lives. The two boys, both knowingly holding the weight of the world on their shoulders, came together every few weeks to simply fuck and work out their frustrations and other emotions at the world. There was never talking, never cuddling, never staying. The only sounds were groans and, in Harry's case, words only a snake would understand. This turned Malfoy on more then he was willing to admit.

It started with a shared detention under Flitwick's supervision (or lack there of). They had to put away a large scatter plot of cushions used in class that day, neatly piling them all up in a charmed cabinet that would hold them all. After a stumble of feet, Harry found himself flat on top of Malfoy. Grey met green, and they had the same idea about their position. Malfoy bucked up against Harry experimentally, and they two hormonal teenage boys lost it from there, falling into waves of lust for the remainder of that detention.

They decided to keep seeing each other once in a while, enjoying a thorough shag and then parting each time. Nothing was said, because nothing needed to be said. They didn't care for each other, nor were they dating; it was just... enemies with benefits. Something like that.

A system was worked out between them; Malfoy had devolved a special wax that would only open for a certain person's magic, sending Harry letter's of their next time and place for a fuck session. This allowed it to be completely secret, though Harry did have to fend of his friends the first few times. He managed, though, like always. Ron had a short attention span, and Hermione liked to try to figure things out on her own. She never would, though, and that thought was mildly amusing to Harry.

Six year ended, however, as did their fling of sorts. Malfoy was off being a Death Eater, and Harry was hunting Horcruxes. It was nice while it lasted, but they had much bigger commitments then a fuck buddy.

The war ended a year later, and Harry was able to put his life back together again. He started Auror training, ready to settle down in a new home with a new life. He could start a family with Ginny, once they were properly married, of course, and watch Hermione and Ron plan their own wedding and start the same process of becoming a family. The Weasley's were looking up since Fred's death, and George re-opened the joke shop. He wasn't the same, but he was close to his old self. Molly and Arthur rebuilt the burrow, slowly piecing it back together.

Nothing would ever be the same as it was before the war, but things were adjusting and people were healing.

It wasn't much later that Harry started to feel like he was missing something in his life. He had lived his entire life as a wizard dealing with Voldemort, Death Eaters, Horcruxes and all things that went with that. It was exciting, full of danger and things to do. But now... he was just a normal person, living his life every day. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. It was nice, on one hand, not to fear death constantly, worry about Voldemort, feel the burn of his scar and have loved ones die for him. But, was this what he wanted in life? To just dry up and become a normal person?

Along with this questioning came his dislike of Ginny. Or, at least, a romantic relationship with Ginny. She was too weak, too dry, too... giving. She didn't fight with him, tell him he's a prat or make him feel... anything, for that matter. It was too perfect. It wasn't _real_.

The Gryffindor battled for many months on what exactly he wanted in a lover, and finally, the thought hit him: he was describing Draco Malfoy. Arrogant, stubborn, cocky, sly, cunning. So totally _Slytherin_. But, not like most of the other Slytherins. He had compassion, decency, love, determination and a disgust for cruelty toward the innocent. He was proud enough to argue with Harry, but willing to form a compromise. He was willing to _kill_ to save the life of his family, but was unable to do it in the end because he was too compassionate. He could make Harry feel angry, pissed off, upset, push his buttons and generally make him want to rip off the blonde boy's head. But, he also had the ability to soothe those emotions and love without restriction or fear. But, almost more important then any of those reasons was the fact that Malfoy saw him simply as 'Potter'. Never the Chosen One or any of that crock of shit. He saw him as a person, imperfect and human, just as he saw himself.

As this realization overcame him, Harry felt the need to write him, to talk to him, to see him. How could he explain this to Malfoy, though? He was courting a pureblood women, living with his family (whom Harry defended in the trail shortly after Voldemort's death) and enjoying his Potter free life.

Regardless, the Gryffindor had to try. He quickly wrote up a neat, to the point letter and sent it with his new owl, Mindy. She was a soft grey with bright yellow eyes. She was a dependable owl, quite intelligent. She was a decent friend and messenger, but no bird could replace Hedwig in the end.

The letter read:

'_Malfoy – _

_I need to talk to you. Let's do lunch this week. I'm off for lunch between noon and one; name the date and the place, and I'll be there._

_Harry Potter.'_

Simply and to the point, but polite.

Harry wasn't expecting a return owl so soon, but less then an hour later, Mindy returned with a letter in her beak. Gently petting her, he thanked the bird, gave her an owl treat and allowed her to take a rest in her cage. He stared down at the letter for a while, wondering, thinking. Malfoy had returned it so fast... and he had used their special wax, too. Despite his logical thinking, the raven felt a bit of warmth in his stomach, hope that was starting to blossom. Perhaps Malfoy had missed him, or at least their time together?

Swallowing, the Gryffindor carefully rubbed the wax stamp with his thumb, watching it change to a pretty red color, meaning it was now ready to open. He pealed it open, his eyes scanning over the few words written on the paper.

'_Potter –_

_Tuesday at the Leaky Cauldron. I am most curious of the meaning of this._

_Draco Malfoy.'_

Harry took a deep breath at the words, reading them a few more times before doing a bit of math in his head. It was Saturday, meaning he had three days before seeing Malfoy.

He had a feeling those were going to be three of the longest days of his life.


	2. Lunch

**A/N: So, this is chapter two. It's a little rushed and not as long as I hoped it would be, but it starts off the main part of the plot. I hope you enjoy it; I like the way it turned out :3 Read, review and enjoy!**

Nerves ate away at Harry's stomach as he stepped out of his house that Tuesday morning on his way to work. Today was the day he was having lunch with Malfoy. Oh dear god, he was going to have to face Malfoy and tell him he wanted to continue to shag his brains out along with something more then just fucking. What that something was, however, Harry hadn't a clue. He wanted to make it work, though. He knew he wanted it more then anything right now, needing to feel alive like he used to. The thought of Malfoy's coy smirk and angry grey eyes made his body tingle in confusing, complex but very much pleasurable emotions. It was something more then lust, more then simply company. It was a deep rooted hunger to live, to feel once more.

These thought soothed his nerves a bit, but not by much. The morning dragged on as Harry franticly tried to figure out what he would say, what he would do when he met with Malfoy. How could he explain that without sounding idiotic or completely mental? In the end, he knew that it was impossible, because he _was_ completely mental. He wanted a, dare say, _relationship_ with Malfoy.

The Gryffindor frowned into desk work briefly before glancing at the clock. He decided it was close enough to twelve to leave; after all, he didn't want to leave Malfoy waiting and hear him bitch about that. Taking in a deep breath, the raven pulled himself from his chair, slipped on his cloak and went to the Floo System on the main floor. It was mildly easier then Appariting and less gut wrenching. Right now, that was a plus.

Harry's green eyes frantically searched the pub when he arrived, finding it empty of any blonde men just yet. He got himself a butterbeer while he waited, quietly sipping at the warm drink. It was a cool November, slowly but surely turning into a harsh winter. The room was warm and comfortable, though, filled with a low chatter and pleasant company. This helped calm Harry's nerves somewhat, allowing him a few minutes to breath and relax before Malfoy arrived.

The Slytherin arrived by Floo, dusting off his spotless dark green robes before looking through the small crowd. Harry felt his pulse speed up at the sight of him; dear god, he was more beautiful then he remembered. A year had really done good things to Malfoy's appearance; he had fully filled out his body, comfortably wearing his still pointed features, but they were less sharp then in their younger years. He was now a bit taller then Harry, his body built lean and smooth, perfect for Seeker. Harry pulled himself from his thoughts when he was noticed he was staring, offering Malfoy a smile as he sat down across from the Gryffindor.

"Potter," he greeted him with a slight nod. His voice was rich and low, just as Harry had remembered it.

"Hello, Malfoy."

The blonde ordered himself a butterbeer, taking a long drink from the mug before looking over at Harry, raising a perfect eyebrow. "So, Potter, what is the meaning of this meeting? I must say I was surprised to see an owl at my window. Did you get a new one? You had a white one before."

Harry swallowed sharply, not allowing himself to think about Hedwig's death. "She was lost in the war." Malfoy met his gaze, and no more was said about the owls.

"However, I-" Frowning, the raven shook his head, starting over. Or at least, attempting to before their waitress came over to take their order for lunch.

"Let's eat before we talk," Harry decided, and Malfoy silently agreed.

The silence that greeted them was mildly awkward. However, they didn't have to sit too long, as their lunch arrived shortly. Harry played with his food for a few minutes after he was done eating, trying to properly form his thoughts. It was just a mess of feelings and words in the end, and he sighed, dropping his fork.

Thinking twice, the Gryffindor cast a silencing charm around them, much to Malfoy's surprise. He didn't say anything though, his light grey eyes watching Harry's green ones with great interest. Harry leaned forward slightly, building up his courage before allowing the words to slip from his lips. "I've been doing a great deal of thinking about my life over the past two months. And I've drawn some conclusions that aren't exactly... ideal for the life I wanted to live. I've learned to accept my needs and wants, though." He smiled thoughtfully. "I want... You, Malfoy. I want what we had sixth year. But, more then that. I don't want to be just your fuck buddy; I want to be your lover, your partner, boyfriend, whatever term you wish to use. You can make me happy, and I can make you happy. You don't see me as 'the hero'. You just see me as me, and I love that about you." He paused, trying to gauge Malfoy's reaction from his face. But it was blank, so he continued, painting a picture of their life together.

"I want to wake up in your bed after just being fucked and knowing that you won't leave. I want to share a bathroom with you and watch you stand in front of the mirror for longer then necessary. I want to hear you sing in the shower. I want to cook you breakfast. I want to fight with you, cry with you, _breath_ with you. I want to hold your hand in public, laugh at your bad jokes and know that everything is going to be okay, because I have you and you have me, and that's all that matters in the world."

The blonde simply stared at him for several seconds before he finally blinked, shaking his head in disbelief. Harry's heart dropped into his stomach; was that a no? Was that the rejection he was fearing?

But, Draco looked up, offering him a smile. There was a hand on his under the table, gripping his fingers in a tight hold. "Harry, you can't believe how wonderful that all sounds. I want to be the one to hold you, to kiss you, to fuck you. I've wanted that for a long time now, it seems." Then, his expression darkened. He shook his head, his fingers tightening upon Harry's. "But, I can't do that. I'm courting Astoria Greengrass, and I have a duty to my family to marry a pureblood women and produce a male heir to carry on the family name. My duty and the honor of my family have to come before my own happiness. I can't let my mother down; she can't wait to see her grandchildren." Harry felt his heart stop for a second before his expression soured. Draco smiled at him, smoothing his thumb over the back of the Gryffindor's hand. "I'm sorry, dear. I wish I could be a heartless bastard and defile my family name, but I cannot. My mother means too much to me."

Heaving a sigh, the raven smiled back at Draco. It was a sad sort of smile, for he understood – he didn't have to like it, though. "I understand, Draco. Your family is very important to you. I can't ask you to lose that for me."

Draco frowned as the words hit his ears. "I'm sorry," he repeated, noticing the slight teary look in Harry's eyes.

The Gryffindor simply shook his head, checking his watch. "It's okay. I hadn't expected much. I knew that it was... difficult when I first asked you to come to lunch." He licked his lips, moving his hand out of Draco's and willing himself not to get upset over this. "But, I must return to work. My lunch hour is nearly up, and I have a lot of paper work to do."

The frown stayed on Draco's lips as they stood up, the charm now broken. "I wish this could have ended differently."

"As do I, but our best choice is to continue on our own paths now."

While this wasn't appealing to the Slytherin, he nodded none the less. "I'll see ya around, Potter."

"See ya, Malfoy."

Harry watched the blonde walk to the Floo and disappear up it, allowing himself one last look at the man whom he couldn't have. His heart felt heavy, but he took in a deep breath and took it one step at a time. Knowing that Draco felt the same way about him was both a curse and a blessing; it gave him a hope to cling to, in a way, but that hope would only crush him in the end when Draco married Astoria and had children.

Until then, though, Harry decided to cling to this feeling, remembering the gentle caress of hands and lips as they two of them fucked for the first time.

He was living in a fantasy world, but it was the only reason worth living anymore.


	3. Love

Two days had passed since Draco saw Harry during their lunch. The Gryffindor rarely left his thoughts during those days, always showing up in odd, unwanted places, such at work and in his dreams. Of course, he had sexual dreams about Harry from time to time since their first time together in that Charms classroom, but these dreams were more then simply sexual. They gave him visions of the future, of what the future with Harry could be like. One struck him as particularly delightful.

'_Sunday __morning __greeted__ Draco__ with__ open__ arms.__ A__ nude, __raven__ haired__ man__ was__ still__ asleep __in__ his __arms;__ his__ hair__ was __wonderfully__ sexed,__ standing__ up__ at__ odd__ angles.__ Draco__ found __it __adorable,__ burrowing__ his__ nose __into__ the __dark __locks.__ He __felt __the__m __chuckle__ as Harry __woke __up, __his __voice __dark __and__ dripping __from__ sleep.__ "__Draco, __that__ tickles.__"_

_The__ Slytherin __smiled,__ his __lips__ finding__ their __place__ upon __Harry__'__s __for __a __moment __before __he __replied,__ "__Stop __being__ so __cute,__ and __I__ won__'__t __feel__ the __need __to__ eat __you __up.__"_

_The Gryffindor's green eyes brightened a shade as he stroked Draco's shoulder. "Mmm. I'll try."_

_Draco leaned down with a smile, kissing Harry soundly again. "I love you, you twit."_

"_I__ love__ you __too,__ you __git.__Come __on,__ let__'__s __do __breakfast.__ Teddy __will__ be __here__ soon __enough,__ and__ I __don__'__t __think__ that__ we__ should__ be __naked__ when__ he__ gets__ here.__" __Draco__ chuckled,__ following __Harry__ into __the __bathroom. __Some__day,__he__ couldn__'__t __wait __to__ have __his__ own__ kids__ with __the __raven,__ even__ if__ they__ turned__ out__ to __be__ Gryffindors.__'_

As these fantasies encased his sleeping hours, the blonde decided that he would do some research. On what, one may ask? On pureblood marriages and heirs, of course. He wanted that future with Harry, more so now that he was forced to live it nearly every night. It was wonderful, loving and full of happiness. He wasn't sure that he could get that same future out of some pretty pureblood women; Astoria was a nice women, but she wasn't Harry. She couldn't make him feel as _alive_ as Harry made him feel. She couldn't provide the spark, the passion that Harry gave him.

The research was tiring and boring, but it gave him hope. A lot of hope, actually. His father had never educated him well on the different times of bonds one could enter into that would be considered a marriage by the magic of the family and the magic of the manor itself. Nor did he tell Draco about the many different ways a child formed outside of a marriage bond could be brought under the family name and magic to be considered an heir.

While Draco did not feel bitter toward his father for not telling him, for he didn't think he would use any of these methods in the first place, he was a bit upset at himself for not knowing in the first place. The blond enjoyed being educated on anything he could use in his life, and this was a very big part of it.

It was possible to have, and marry, Harry while still having options open to produce a grandchild for his mother and a heir for his family name. That much was clear.

But, how could he break off the engagement to Astoria and still ask her to bear his children for him and his male lover?

And did he actually want to send the rest of his life with Harry, or did he simply want a relationship with him? Did he want to raise children with the Gryffindor man?

Draco struggled with these questions for many days, meeting with Astoria once during this week or so of torment. She wasn't very happy about his attention being elsewhere, but he managed to apologize, offer her a dazzling smile and tell her how beautiful her new dress was. She was left flustered and giggling like a school girl, and Draco mentally sighed in relief. At least she wasn't too perspective.

It was late in the night on a Saturday, and Draco was enjoying a drink of firewhiskey in his rooms next to the fire. The burn of the alcohol was very much needed after spending so much time with a giggling female and playing prince charming. He didn't mind spending time with Astoria, but she seemed to laugh too often to be sincere, and it got annoying after a while. Draco wondered if it as all girls or just her. He tried not to imagine his brief relationship with Pansy. The thought of that girl made him sick to his stomach.

The fire was bright, unlike Draco's now dull senses from the firewhiskeys he had drunken. He wasn't drunk, though. It took a lot more then that for the blonde to get drunk. He began to re-think that, however, when suddenly the fire turned green, and Harry's face popped out of the flames. Was he going insane? Did Harry's face have to appear when he was awake, too? Or was he simply head over heals for the Gryffindor boy?

The face spoke, timid, afraid. "Draco?"

Sense returned to him, and the Slytherin blinked. Harry had called him through the Floo network. And he was very, very upset from the sounds of his chocked voice. Knelling down next to the fire, Draco carefully smiled at the raven in the fire. "Hey. Why are you calling so late? Is something wrong?" And then it hit him like a ton of brinks: Harry was crying. Tears streamed down his face clear as day. "Baby, why are you crying?" the blonde whispered tenderly to the flames, resisting the urge to reach out and comfort the man. After all, it was still fire and still hot.

Harry chocked back a sob, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "I... I had a nightmare. You... you died in the dream. So, I had to s-see you to make sure you we-were okay." The raven added in a whisper, "And I missed you."

Draco smiled in a sad sort of way. "I'm okay, Harry. No need to worry. I'm not going anywhere." He took in a deep breath, braving through his words. "I've missed you too. You always seem to come to me in my dreams. They are never nightmares, but they might as well be when I can't hold you, kiss you, _feel_ you." Tears still soaked Harry's face, but he gave a nod in agreement, not trusting his voice. Draco felt the urge to see Harry in the flesh overwhelm him, and he blurted out, "Come over. Right now. Stay the night. It'll... help you sleep." It was a lame attempt at reasoning, but it didn't mater. Draco simply needed to love this boy _right __now_.

The Gryffindor blinked at this offer, a smile breaking across his face. "Really?" Draco nodded. "Okay. I'll come through the Floo. Stand back a bit so I don't land on top of you." The thought that followed that statement was nearly too much ('_Who __says__ that__'__s __a __bad __thing?__'_), but the Slytherin managed to stand up from the fireplace and step back as Harry's face withdrew from the fire. His full self appeared just a minute later, brushing off dust from his pajamas.

The blonde opened his arms in both a greeting and an invitation. Harry took the invitation, launching himself into his open arms. Draco wrapped his arms around the shorter man, sighing gently into his hair. For a few moments, they simply held each other, reliving the memories of their meetings together. They weren't exactly of this nature, of course, but the touch, the smell and the warmth was still just as Draco remembered. He gripped the Gryffindor tightly, knowing that their time together tonight was measured, and he didn't know if or when they could do this again.

Harry's grip around him tightened as well, and he began to shake slightly in Draco's arms. The Slytherin rubbed his back in a comforting gesture before gently pulling Harry with him to his bed. He was sure that they were both tired, even if they would spend much time awake, simply enjoying each other's touch and living in the moment.

Draco carefully laid beside the other man on the bed, wrapping his arms firm around Harry and pulling him flush against him. The Gryffindor gladly cuddled into the blonde, gently stroking his side and back. Placing a kiss on Harry's forehead, Draco allowed himself the silence. There was nothing to be said in that moment as they held each other. It was mildly unfamiliar, as they never cuddled during their purely sexual time together, but Draco found it to be better then the sex. It was emotionally tender and soul satisfying to just hold his green eyed lover, breathing in his scent and feeling his touch.

Some time passed before finally, the silence was broken. "Draco?" Harry whispered.

"Yes, dear?"

"Do you love Astoria?"

The question caught him off guard a bit, but Draco answered truthfully. "No."

"Do you love me?"

The Slytherin's eyes widened at this question, both shocked and lost for an answer. Did he love Harry? Was this yearning to kiss, hold and see him love? Did he know what love was? He knew what he wanted to answer, but he didn't know if it was the truth.

"You don't have to tell me yes, if that's now how you feel. I understand." The tone of voice Harry used broke his heart, and Draco suddenly understood.

He cupped Harry's jaw, finding his bright green eyes in the firelight. "I love you, Harry. And I'm going to make this work. I want you in my bed every night. I want to come home to you. I want to wake up to you wrapped in my arms. I want everything that comes with you and me. I want _you_." With that, he kissed the man for the first time in years, getting an eager response from his partner. The kiss was slow and sensually, but full of passion and emotion. It slowly came down to Draco placing a kiss on Harry's forehead, carding a hand through his wonderfully soft locks.

"I love you too, Draco," the Gryffindor whispered as he snuggled back into the Slytherin's arms comfortably. Draco smiled in the dark before drifting into sleep, the warmth of Harry calming his mind, and for once, he was dreamless, for his reality was better then anything that could happen in his dreams.

Light flooded into the room from the window across from the bed, playing on Draco's pale skin. The blonde sighed into his pillow, not wanting to leave the warmth of his bed on such an early Sunday morning. His sleepy mind noticed the body in his arms a moment later, and last night came flooding back to him like a half remembered melody.

Harry.

He told the raven he loved him. Did he love him? Was love the tightening in his chest and throat at the thought of not being able to see him again? Was it the way that his heart broke at the sight of Harry's tears? Or was it the way that Harry could evoke such emotions in him, from anger to passion to possibly... love?

Draco swallowed, looking down at the Gryffindor that was still fast asleep, cuddled into his chest. He smiled, and he knew. He loved this man, and most likely have for years, even before their meetings to fuck. As a child of anger, though, he mistook this feeling for hate. It was all so clear to him now, and he knew what he had to do.

The Slytherin kissed Harry's hair, whispering in a low tone, "I'm going to make this work, Harry, don't worry." His first plan of action was to talk to his mother.

But, for now, he would simply enjoy the short time he had with Harry, allowing himself into drift into a half awake – half asleep state where he was only conscious of the raven man in his arms. For now, it was enough.

**A/N: Sorry this took a while. I was stuck D: This story is not going in the same direction I wanted it to go, but I'm working with it to get it not to be too sappy in the end. They will face more challenges soon enough. For now, though, things look happy and stuff. I hope you enjoyed this fluffy good stuff, because the next chapter will have a lot more angst in it. Draco has to break the news to Astoria and his mother about his desire to break things off with Astoria and how he wants to "court" a man instead, asking a pureblood women to bare his children (lol, I love that phrasing). And, of course, he has to deal with Harry, who is going to be rather needy and impatient now that he got a taste of what is to come. Please read, review and enjoy everyone!  
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	4. Sorry Readers This is the End

**A/N: So… I've been trying to write a new chapter for this story for the past two weeks or so. And well, I'm completely stuck. I have no ideas and no desire to write for this story anymore. I don't know where to go from here, nor do I think that it will be a good story in the end. **

**What I'm trying to say is that I'm not going to continue this story. My life is too busy right now, anyway, for me to properly update any story. I'm very sorry for any readers who really liked this story. When I have time and ideas, I'll try to put a new story that I know I can finish. For now, though, I'm on a fanfiction hiatus. Add me to alerts if you want to know when I'm back :3**


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